The independent London newspaper

Mrs May’s cunning Brexit plan

18 January, 2019

• I KNOW it’s absurd but somehow I can’t shrug off the feeling that Baldrick has been advis­ing Mrs May. Some­how things only make sense if Mrs May has a cunning plan and that she is “As cunning as a fox who’s just been appointed Professor of Cunning at Oxford University”.

How else to explain spending two-and-a-half years to get into record books with the biggest parliamentary defeat in history? It must have crossed her mind that uniting hard-line Mad Brexiteers and Remain­ers in her own party would set her up with a strong chance of winning the European Incompetence Cup before going on to the Worlds. And she’s pulled it off. Defeat by 230 votes.


Or perhaps the real plan was to make such a mess of Brexit that she has to stop the whole daft thing. On the other hand maybe her idea is to force Brexit so far down the line that we drop out of the EU without a deal at all and it won’t look like her fault. Brilliant! It’s been a long-running Tory wet dream to “regain our independence”, restore the Empire v2.0 and abolish the welfare state.

This agenda for our future was clearly laid out by Jacob Rees-Mogg’s European Research Group and the Institute of Economic Affairs. Page 228 of their US-UK trade plan states that “… health services are an area where both sides would benefit from openness to foreign competition, although we recognise any changes to existing regulations will be extremely controver­sial. Perhaps, then, for other areas the initial focus should be on other fields, such as education or legal services, where negotiators can test the waters and see what is possible. That said, we would envisage a swift, time-tabled implement­ation of recognition across all areas within five years.”

Keep your eyes out for announcements about the appointment of the Bald­rick Professor of Call­idus at Oxford University.

Richmond Grove, N1


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